Thursday, December 16, 2010
Just a thought. How do you learn to be you again? Weird question? Well let me fill you in. When I was twenty I got married. I had been dating since I was 15. I loved loved loved getting married young, I could buy a house but I could not even buy beer. Crazy. Then at 22 I had my first beautiful little girl, and then at 26 I had my second beautiful little girl. My life has changed so much, and for the better. I have successfully nursed my little one for 14 months and she recently decided that we are done with that. So here I find myself really not totally dependant on anyone or anything. So I find myself not really knowing how to be just me. When I am out without my kids, all I think about is my kids. When I go to places with other adults all I talk about is my kids. I am starting to think that I really don't have a life that is anyway really just me. No real hobbies, unless it involves my kids. See a pattern?? I love to scrapbook, but it is always my kids, even shopping has turned into nothing about me, just about them. Then I have a husband who seems to have all these great hobbies, he seems to be able to go out and without a thought enjoy himself. We don't have any hobbies in common. Dirt bike riding, and ultimate frisbee, drinking.... not really my thing. I am starting to think that maybe he doesn't really want to hang out with me either. He went to a movie by himself last weekend. Really?!? It hurt my feelings, but to be honest when he asked if that was okay I didn't say a word about how I really felt. Which is dumb because then I sat here and stewed over it all day. I have decided that from now on, one day a week is mine. I work super part time (like one day a week) and I usually go grocery shopping and run all my errands. But from now on, I am not. I am going to do something for myself every Friday. I am going to discover who I am again. I used to have so much fun going out and meeting new people. So I will go when invited, I will NOT talk about my kids the entire time and I will start putting me first every now and then. xoxo
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4 comments:
I think all us moms are in the same boat sometimes. Can I join you on Friday??
Amen sister!!!! I am totally feeling the same way. Jed and I were just talking about that yesterday!! Very frustrating. I was asked by a new friend of mine what I like to do for myself or what I do in my spare time.... my answer....1st what free time?? And then I totally went blank.... I then realized I need a hobby or get back to "finding" me whoever thay may be:)
I guess being a mom is who we are and our identity but time for ourselves will make us better wives and mommies.... if that makes anu sense at all:)
I feel ya! I feel ya!
I agree 100% with everything you said! I do try and get out for girls nights..but like you said..its good to have ME time..with no one but myself!
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