happily ever after

I have come to a conclusion about my nursing relationship with Miss Lily. (I seem to write about this often). So last night I desperately wanted sleep, and little miss just wasn't having it. She seemed to wake up every two to three hours. I was sooooo tired, but I was sticking to my guns and I wasn't going to nurse her. With Chloe she slept, beautifully from birth. She NEVER woke up, ever. I was so blissfully rested with her that when Lily came along, I assumed that she would follow in her big sister's steps and sleep. Well I was WrOnG. She hates sleeping, sometimes she even hates napping. I feel like I may have contributed to this a bit. I don't always stay home to give her that good nap, or I am late getting home that we miss it all together. Totally my fault. So since I screw up the day, she is a mess all night long. So last night, the first time she awoke I let her "cry it out". Starting at 10:58, she didn't tire until about 11:33. But finally she was quiet. So I of course fell asleep on the couch, which is becoming quite routine. So I crawled to bed about 2, yep my poor husband. So I climb into my super comfy bed, only to hear screaming on the monitor at 2:33. Seriously! I again thought, okay she can cry it out again. Well that lasted about 15 minutes and I was wide awake, so I went in to get her and gave her a cup with water. She chugged the whole thing, and then she began to panic. She was screaming, arching her back, pushing my face away from her and sobbing. I was trying to rock her, bounce her, sing to her, whatever it took I was not nursing her. Brandon snuck in to "help" but I thought he was a robber and jumped about a hundred feet. After a few rounds of her lullaby playing and she was not giving in, so I sat in our chair and nursed my sweet baby. She seriously ate for like five minutes and then was out cold. I laughed because here I spent almost a half hour to calm her down, when all she wanted was a little milk. So here's my conclusion. I am not done. She is not done. and that's okay. xoxo